Do you dislike other women?

Can we all agree that most women don't like each other?

A common misconception is that success isn’t success without beauty and looks. So we are threatened by any woman prettier, slimmer, and generally better than us. Clouded with insecurity and self-doubt, we try to hide it by secretly hating her or openly being cruel to her or just trying to be above her. How cliche!. Why can’t we get over it?

We think of male attention largely as the holy grail of our existence and so we compete with other women for this 'cherished' resource in the fight for our own self-esteem. We are so engrossed with feeding and boosting our own egos that that we forget what we feed on – other women’s self esteem. We are fighting for approval, even if it means fighting each other!

We see another queen and the first instinct is to assume she's proud and try to knock her crown off?. Why can't we all reign in peace and harmony?
I remember primary school like it was yesterday. I was the queen bee for a second and I'm not proud of this but half my reign consisted of me encouraging the entire female class to stop speaking with Biliki because she was too flirty with the boys. [Biliki if you're out there forgive me].

If I'd delved deeper I'd had figured that I was only lashing out at Biliki because of my own insecurities. I wasn't mad that she was flirty, I was mad that her flirtiness included the boy I liked at that time. I wished I was as confident as she was. I was so coy back then Gee!

Most people think that women being catty with each other is natural. What’s the competition and fighting all about? What is the reason behind women hating on other women? It’s there underneath the veneer of niceness, under the sneer-smile.

Why is it that when your boyfriend or husband cheats on you, it's the woman involved who is attacked instead of the man? Why is every other female friend of the guy you like assessed as a potential competitor for his affection (as if his affection was worth fighting over)?. Why must another hardworking woman hustling for her pay be a 'runs' babe? She could simply be as enterprising as you are. Haven't you heard women say things like "I can't be friends with women. They're just so bitchy" or "Their drama is too much" or worse yet "I find that girls are just so jealous of me".

Umm, excuse me!

If you're incapable of sustaining a friendship with other women, maybe the problem isn't them. Maybe it's you. Maybe you're the problem and they purely reacted to you.

You're willing to change your bad habits for a guy but you unleash a heavy dose of your bad behaviour on your female friends and want them to hang around you?. No way sister!

I'm not saying toxic friendships don't exist but if every single female friendship group you’ve ever encountered were ‘jealous’ of you, perhaps it’s time for a bit of self reflection.

Here's this AMAZING 5-step manifesto to spreading Girl Love culled from Lone Wolf magazine.

• I will wear what I want, eat what I want and do what I want, and I will let other girls do the same. What another girl chooses to do with her vagina is none of my business.

• I will stop calling people “pussies” and telling them to “grow some balls.” I will stop equating femininity with weakness.

• I hereby promise to stop using the expression “real women” to only refer to “curvy women.” All women are real women, no matter their shape and size. I will no longer buy into the idea that there is one right way to be a girl.

• I will stop looking for reasons to hate the girls I meet. I will stop seeing other women as competition and feel threatened by their confidence.

• I will no longer mistake self-comparison for “inspiration.” Another woman’s beauty is not a measure of my own self worth.

Imagine the things women could do together if only they loved themselves more and were nicer to each other. I'm sure we can all agree that the world would be a greater place if it were run by women helping women! 

#LiftAsYouClimb #ElimateGirlHate #GirlLove #WomenHelpingWomen