Promise me not: promise rings and what nots.

Promise rings are one of the many trendy things Nigerians have adopted.

What are promise rings? Well, you tell me. All I know is they look eerily like engagement rings. 

I remember mentioning the concept of promise rings to my mother once. 

What’s that? She said. I interpreted that as kilon je be. (The Yoruba influence on my life is strong, pardon me)

I have so many questions. Like when did Nigerians adopt this whole promise ring nonsense?. Can’t my boyfriend give me his favorite jersey and I give him my favorite hairpin and we’ll call it even?

What’s next after promise rings? We make heart shaped lockets with each other’s faces on both sides and wear the lockets on a chain around our necks. 

Somewhere right now, a Nigerian woman born and raised in Naija is wearing a promise ring, claiming her boyfriend gave it to her. 

Wait, what is he promising? Was there a big ceremony when he finally slipped it onto her finger? Did they recite hand-written vows and end with “I promise”?. Did he meet the parents and then promised?. Does the guy get to wear one too? In the event of a breakup, does the ring return to sender?. If you’re wearing a promise ring, are you also wearing a purity ring? Would you wear a promise ring for Jesus? 

I have SO MANY questions!

I once saw the most beautiful Swarovski ring on this young lady. I proceeded to congratulate her on her engagement only to be swiftly correctly. You see this gorgeous piece of jewelry was a promise ring. I know!!!

She had known her young man for 7 years (since she was a teenager). So this promise ring represented what exactly? I asked. 

A promise to marry her. She had explained. 

Let me just clear my throat here. 

I’ve also seen another woman wear a promise ring. This time, a much older woman.

I really don’t understand the concept of promise rings. 

Are these rings a representation of two people’s promise to be together? Because if that’s the case I’ve given and received several tokens of promises. I still have this figurine my ex gave me as a promise that he’d love me forever. He didn’t, love me forever that is. The figurine survived the test of time, our love didn’t. 

Pandora has a whole category on its online website dedicated to promise rings. The sales pitch goes something like this “...showcase your love and commitment for each other with beautiful promise rings...”

According to www.theknot.com , promise rings often precede an engagement and these rings can be worn on any finger. Promise rings are also intended to be a lifelong vow but then things don’t always go as planned. 

It’s a beautiful thought I guess. But if you can afford a promise ring then you can afford an actual engagement ring, yes?

What do promise rings represent in the modern day Nigeria?

Well if anyone is going to give me a promise ring, I need to know your five-year plan. 

What are you promising? How long is your promise going to last? When do you plan on switching up to an engagement ring? Give me timelines mister. It’s bad enough being a Lord of the Rings with an engagement ring on her hand but to wear a promise ring for longer than two years is just animal cruelty.